Errors:  

crucial to teach in school which are too academic in orientation

make their children aware

necessary to teach in schools

Corrected version:

There are some people who say that those subjects which are too academic in orientation are crucial to be taught in school, because they make children aware, but others say that those subjects are not necessary to be taught in schools.

Improved version:

Some argue that highly academic subjects are essential to be taught in schools as they increase children's awareness, while others believe these subjects are unnecessary.

Errors:  

- latter's thought

- subject

- in practical matters

Corrected version:

I do not agree with the latter's view. I think children have to learn those subjects to contribute to practical matters and to develop interpersonal skills.

Improved version:

I do not concur with the latter view. I believe children must learn these subjects to effectively contribute to practical matters and to develop essential interpersonal skills.

Errors:  

- of my thinking

- self dependency

- just because of any reason, so they are able to do it

- subject should teach

Corrected version:

The primary reason for my belief is self-dependency. If they have to manage their home without anyone's help, for any reason, they will be able to do it, but this is only possible if they know how. That's why those subjects should be taught in our schools or colleges.

Improved version:

The primary reason for my belief is self-sufficiency. If children need to manage their homes independently, they will be capable of doing so, but this is only possible if they possess the necessary knowledge. Therefore, these subjects should be taught in our schools and colleges.

Errors:  

- are not able to meet the reality

- subject

- are able to be

Corrected version:

The second reason for this is that if we do not provide them with the knowledge of those subjects, they will not be able to face reality and they will start to waste their time on unnecessary activities such as social media and playing video games, but if they learn those subjects, they will be able to excel in every field.

Improved version:

The second reason is that without knowledge of these subjects, children will not be able to face reality and may waste their time on trivial activities such as social media and video games. However, if they learn these subjects, they will be able to excel in various fields.

Errors:  

- Study of those subjects

- as well as it helps to boost up

Corrected version:

Studying these subjects also encourages them and helps to boost their confidence.

Improved version:

Studying these subjects also motivates them and enhances their confidence.

Errors:  

- interest

- which are connected to those subjects

- also

Corrected version:

If anyone has an interest in fields connected to these subjects, then it will also be beneficial for those students.

Improved version:

If students have an interest in fields related to these subjects, it will be particularly beneficial for them.

Errors:  

- plays and

- so

Corrected version:

In conclusion, we can say that the study of academic subjects in schools plays an important role. I do not agree with those people who say that it is unnecessary. If those subjects are not taught in schools, students will not be able to gain common knowledge about their lifestyle.

Improved version:

In conclusion, the study of academic subjects in schools plays a pivotal role. I disagree with those who argue that it is unnecessary. Without these subjects, students will not acquire essential knowledge about their lifestyle.