Errors:  

- an the (should be 'the')

- produce (should be 'produced')

Corrected version:

The pie chart illustrates the electricity produced in Germany and France.

Improved version:

The pie chart illustrates the electricity production in Germany and France.

Errors:  

- A noticeable difference in the nuclear energy (should be 'There is a noticeable difference in nuclear energy production')

Corrected version:

There is a noticeable difference in nuclear energy production between France and Germany.

Improved version:

There is a significant difference in nuclear energy production between France and Germany.

Errors:  

- the nuclear power head (should be 'nuclear power accounts for')

- just over a 5th (should be 'just over a fifth')

- they just over three quarter (should be 'it is just over three quarters')

- in comparison to renewable resources in Germany over than a fifth and France just less than (awkward phrasing)

Corrected version:

In Germany, nuclear power accounts for just over a fifth, while in France, it is just over three quarters. In comparison, renewable resources in Germany account for over a fifth, and in France, just less than a fifth.

Improved version:

In Germany, nuclear power accounts for just over a fifth, whereas in France, it constitutes just over three quarters. In comparison, renewable resources make up over a fifth of Germany's electricity production, while in France, they account for slightly less than a fifth.

Errors:  

- After renewable (awkward phrasing)

- France produce 4 5th of hydroelectric source (should be 'France produces four-fifths of its hydroelectric power')

- Germany more than 5th (should be 'Germany produces more than a fifth')

Corrected version:

France produces four-fifths of its hydroelectric power, while Germany produces more than a fifth.

Improved version:

France generates four-fifths of its electricity from hydroelectric sources, whereas Germany generates more than a fifth from the same source.

Errors: 

- Biomass source of France is just you just 8.1% (should be 'Biomass in France accounts for just 8.1%')

- while the Germany had almost four times higher than France (should be 'while in Germany, it is almost four times higher')

Corrected version:

Biomass in France accounts for just 8.1%, while in Germany, it is almost four times higher.

Improved version:

Biomass in France accounts for just 8.1% of electricity production, whereas in Germany, it is nearly four times higher.

Errors:  

- In all type of renewable resources (should be 'In all types of renewable resources')

- in Germany had the highest portion of percentage (should be 'Germany had the highest percentage')

- except in hydroelectric energy (should be 'except for hydroelectric energy')

Corrected version:

In all types of renewable resources, Germany had the highest percentage, except for hydroelectric energy.

Improved version:

Germany had the highest percentage of all types of renewable resources, except for hydroelectric energy.

Errors:  

- France hydroelectricity (should be 'France's hydroelectricity')

- was the most dominant renewable resource (should be 'was the dominant renewable resource')

Corrected version:

France's hydroelectricity was the dominant renewable resource at 80%, while wind and solar energy were negligible at 10% and 5%, respectively.

Improved version:

In contrast, France's hydroelectricity was the dominant renewable resource at 80%, while wind and solar energy were minimal at 10% and 5%, respectively.

Errors: 

- show (should be 'shows')

- relaying (should be 'relying')

Corrected version:

The pie chart clearly shows the different approaches to electricity generation in Germany and France in 2009, with France relying on nuclear sources and Germany using a diverse range of sources.

Improved version:

The pie chart clearly illustrates the different approaches to electricity generation in Germany and France in 2009, with France relying heavily on nuclear sources and Germany utilizing a diverse range of sources.