Errors:  

own our boss should be their own boss.

Corrected version:

In today's modern world, a great many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company, Institute, or an organisation because they want to be their own boss.

Improved version:

In the contemporary world, a significant number of individuals opt for self-employment over traditional employment with companies, institutes, or organizations because they desire autonomy as their own bosses.

Errors:  

- convenient store should be convenience store.

- self employment should be self-employment.

- because it gives targets to the employees is awkwardly phrased.

Corrected version:

Nowadays, a majority of people choose to start their own business or run a convenience store because they believe that self-employment offers better opportunities than working for a company, Institute, or organisation. However, the pressure of meeting monthly targets can be challenging for employees who struggle to achieve them.

Improved version:

In the contemporary era, a significant proportion of individuals opt to establish their own businesses or manage convenience stores, driven by the belief that self-employment presents superior prospects compared to traditional employment. Nevertheless, the demand to meet monthly targets can pose a considerable challenge for employees.

Errors:  

- include some incentives should be including incentives.

- The sentence structure is unclear and needs revision.

Corrected version:

Conversely, when working for a company, organization, or institute, employees receive a fixed salary along with additional incentives, often tied to festive occasions. In contrast, self-employed individuals who run their own businesses or shops earn money on a daily basis. Being self-employed allows them to maximize profits based on their unique selling strategies, which is why many people choose self-employment over traditional employment.

Improved version:

On the flip side, employees in corporate settings receive a fixed salary supplemented by incentives, often linked to special occasions. In contrast, self-employed entrepreneurs who operate their own businesses or shops generate daily income. This entrepreneurial approach enables them to strategically maximize profits, making self-employment an attractive choice for a significant portion of the workforce.

Errors:  

- self employment should be self-employment.

- in the company, Institute or an organisation is awkwardly phrased.

- this types of opportunities should be these types of opportunities.

Corrected version:

Turning to the disadvantages of self-employment, individuals working within companies, institutes, or organizations receive a fixed salary along with incentives and bonuses during festival occasions. However, if they run their own businesses, they miss out on these specific benefits.

Improved version:

Exploring the drawbacks of self-employment, employees within established entities (companies, institutes, or organizations) receive fixed salaries complemented by incentives and festival bonuses. In contrast, self-employed entrepreneurs forfeit **these specific benefits.